Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Little Girl...

Little miss has quite the personality in her short little fetal life thus far if you ask me! {I think she gets that from me} She has definitely sent me on an emotional roller coaster, her dad I think so but he tries to act tough for me. 

First off she wasn't "Planned" exactly, we were discussing it and went to the old trusty write what you think on a piece of paper and trade and discuss it. For whatever reason I put YES on the paper {I think I may have been baby hungry that day} and he put NO. I was a little sad and didn't want to force him into anything he wasn't ready for, so it was NO for baby making! I think a month went past and oooooops turns out I was a couple days late, so I went to the handy dandy dollar store and got 2 tests and was shaking up a storm because remember it was a NO and my mind was set on no. Well I took the tests and Heavenly Father had a different plan for us. He was at work and I was home alone crying from the shock I had no idea what to do! He was ecstatic when he opened the picture and called me so excited and then realized I was still crying! He has been nothing but excited since day one! Me on the other hand I have struggled quite a bit.

We decided to keep it a secret until we had our first ultra sound! {I kept a secret for OVER 2 WEEKS, I think that must be a record!} My bladder was completely full and was leaving me with unbelievable crapping pains, so bad that when I tried to relieve a little I couldn't because my muscles were so tight, ridiculous I tell you! We get our first ultra sound and she was just a blob, we thought she looked real similar to a blueberry! We planned to tell family, my family first by taking them to dinner for "March Birthdays" and his family to have ice cream before his mom and sister left for SPAIN! As we were leaving the dr I stopped in the bathroom to relieve even more pee, and this is where the first disaster happened. I found a ton of blood on the toilet paper and it just kept coming. I walk out crying and told Gentry that I think I lost it! He was so confused and thought I was talking about the ultra sound pictures! hahaha We hurry into the dr and she checked me and said that it has stopped and that she can't tell where it was coming from so we were sent home with no answers!!!! I felt so confused!!! We now didn't know if we should tell anyone but decided to go on with it and tell our families. We told my family and my mom started bawling!!! It was almost comical! She couldn't believe that her baby girl was having a baby of her own! We also informed them of the incident that happened at the dr's office so they were aware if anything else happened. I went 4 hours with no bleeding and then it happened again. We were confused and scared on what to do. My mom could tell something was up so she told us to go to the ER. I hesitated because i wanted to tell his family but i felt so concerned for this baby and myself so we went. He called his dad to tell him and this was the first time I saw him cry about it {I had been crying all day} It was tender and really helped me feel like I wasn't crazy! So off to the ER we went! 4 hours later we find out I had a tear between my placenta and uterus where they are suppose to meet and there was a 50/50 chance she would live or die! Even tho it was such odds I still felt at easy because I finally knew what it was!
We went to his family's house after to say goodbye and let them in on the news and I received a blessing which I think helped a lot. After this happened I became distant from this pregnancy. I wouldn't allow myself to feel anything for her, which makes me sad but I didn't want to get attached if that makes any sense. We had a couple bleeding episodes in between dr's appointments and the dr said if it continues in month 4 then we need to get real concerned, luckily I haven't had any since the beginning of April!!

Let me just say April took forever!!! May went fast which I was super happy for because I had to wait until week 19 to get my ultra sound to find out the sex! This made everything so real! I invited my sister Amanda to come and obviously Gentry went as well! It was AMAZING!!! I loved looking at that little girl! She is a mover, which I have yet to really feel! The ultra sound tech showed us her face and my dear husbands response was "Oh It looks kinda scary" the tech then realized it is our first so she did a 3D one to show us a little better! Oh my is she the cutest little girl ever!! I am obsessed!  I was so entertained just watching the huge screen and watching her move! We waited to see the doc to explain about the ultra sounds and she was happy and cheery and then says I need another ultra sound! The tech wasn't able to get all of her heart because she kept moving and because they found a tiny cyst on her little brain. Again my heart dropped! She explained that its pretty common but they want to make sure it is ok, she said most likely it will go away on its own. I'm hoping she is right! My goodness girl can you give your mom a break? I am already 1 million times more emotional then before and then one thing after another just adds to my emotional side! 

We told everyone by getting the "Its a boy" balloon and changing it to GIRL!!! We did this because everyone thought she was going to be a boy minus Gentry and my sister Sommer. My mom saw the balloon and threw her hands in the air and said I knew it a boy!! bahahaha I said lady put your glasses on because its a girl!!! {She was much more happy after she heard that} Shelbie girl was bummed she wanted a boy but now all she talks about is Baby Shumway and how she is going to share her baby dolls with her! 

Boy, we are so excited and we just can't wait for her to get here! She is a gem and we can't wait to meet her in October!!

Meet baby Leighton!!!



1 comment:

Lance, Sommer, Shelbie & Carston Atwood said...

Oh little Leighton, hopefully you are nothing like your cousins cause your mommy needs a break!